


One normal night

by Deerandtheheadlights



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: But it’s like funny, Chrollo is there but he’s the Uber driver, Hisoka is just basically himself, Illumi cringe moments, Killua Zoldyck - Freeform, Leorio and Kurapika are roommates, M/M, fake dating au, gon freecs - Freeform, they r just funky little kids, they're also all in college, valentines day au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22128484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deerandtheheadlights/pseuds/Deerandtheheadlights
Summary: In order to get freak ass Hisoka off his back, Leorio lies about who he’s dating. What if we pretended to fake dat and then we actually fell in love....... hahah just kidding...... unless😳
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Damn nobody tells me about good anime’s when they’re airing

It’s Valentine’s day, and to be honest, Leorio isn’t really feeling it. It’s a Friday, and he’s in class, taking notes. He’s also trying not to look at the weirdo who sits next to him. Hisoka Morrow. The only person studying to be a doctor who consistently wears a crop top and two inch manicured nails to class every day.

Every morning, Hisoka would walk into the lecture dressed like a straight up thot. You would have thought that in the medical field, at least on the college level, there would be at least  _ some  _ set of dress code rules, but nope! Apparently it  _ is  _ acceptable to walk into a 9 am college class wearing a shirt that says bubblegum bitch and booty shorts with fishnets. Also, one time Leorio caught a glimpse of the inside of his backpack, and there was nothing in it but old takis bags and a knife.

Everything Hisoka did was to appease some sort of aesthetic that Leorio couldn’t understand. It was some weird mix of cards, clowns, bubble gum, the color pink, and being a slut. All of the notes Hisoka took were in pink gel pen, the kind with the feather pom pom on top. He also wore heels every single day.

And for whatever reason, he chose to sit next to Leorio every goddamn day.

Leorio was concentrating on his notes when he started to feel something on the back of his neck. He tried to ignore it, but soon it started to smell like bubblegum, meaning that it had to be dealt with immediately. He whipped his head around to see fucking Hisoka Morrow breathing down his neck with a grin.

“Ah! Get off me, nasty!” He shoved the red head to the side, the grin never leaving his face. 

“Hello~” He oozed, bringing a manicured hand up to his face.

“Man, what is your problem?” Leorio hissed, wiping the back of his neck. They were sitting farther back in the room, but he was still worried about being too loud.

“Are you free tonight?” The clown asked with a grin. Oh, and the other thing about Hisoka: he would not stop asking Leorio out. Of course, Leorio declined every time, but that didn’t stop the other man from shooting his shot at least three times a week.

“No.”

“Awwww, too bad,” Hisoka pouted, miming a tear falling down his face.

“What’s your excuse this time? Finally got a date for Valentine’s Day?”

Wait. It suddenly occurred to Leorio that there was a very simple solution to his Hisoka problem. If he faked having having a date, then Hisoka would stop asking him. Hopefully. 

“Yes, actually, I do.” He turned up his nose and looked back down at his paper.

“Oh, reallllllly,” the other man sneered a little.

“And who would that be?”

“It’s none of your business who I date.”

Hisoka rolled his eyes.

“So then you’re single.”

“No! I’m not!” 

He must have spoken too loud, because the professor cast an annoyed look in his direction before going back to his lecture.

“Ok then, it’s a date,” the hot pink mess said nonchalantly and smoothly.

“Meet me in the parking lot at 7, I’ll pick you up in my Ford Fusion and then we can go to chili’s.”

Crap. This wasn’t going well. Who did he know here who would agree to pretending to date? Someone who he wouldn’t have to actually kiss, but they would be ok with lying to Hisoka about it. Leorio didn’t really socialize much, as he threw himself into his studies wholeheartedly.

_ Damnit Leorio, think, think……. Wait, I’m fucking stupid! My roommate! _

His roommate, Kurapika! He was chill. Kurapika was majoring in criminal forensics, so like Leorio, he had a lot of work and exams. Upon getting accepted into college, Leorio had put out a craigslist ad for a roommate. Kurapika, aside from being one of the two people to apply, was the best candidate. Together, they shared an apartment.

“Actually, I’m dating Kurapika. Kurapika Kurta.” He said definitely, deciding on an answer.

“No you’re not. That’s not even a real name.”

“Yes it is! He’s my roommate!”

Hisoka let out an angry sigh. Suddenly, his face lit up into a smile.

“Alright then, you and Kurta are more than welcome to come to this Valentines Day party.” 

Digging through his backpack, he pulled out a rather fancy looking letter.

“I lied about the chili’s. I wouldn’t spend my chili's gift card on you,” he whisper hissed.

“But you better come to this party.”

“Man, where the fuck even is it,” Leorio mumbled to himself as he opened the fucking wax seal on the letter.

“The Zoldyck mansion.” He read off the invitation, mind a little blank.

“Wait, the Zoldyck mansion? Hisoka, how the fuck did you even get this? Also why are you giving it to me?”

Despite the fact that he lived in a college town, the town had very wealthy roots. The Zoldycks were the oldest family in town, and probably the wealthiest. They had a huge mansion at the base of a mountain. Nobody knew exactly what they did- there were rumors of them having ties to the mafia, them being assassins, or them being government agents. Either way, there was no way that Hisoka had obtained this invitation through non aggressive acts.

Hisoka shrugged.

“I know the family. They gave me a few extra.”

Honestly, Leorio was kind of flattered. A little scared of both Hisoka and the party, but flattered too.

“Um, yeah, I’m sure my  _ boyfriend _ would love to go.” he said through gritted teeth. If Kurapika said no……. well, Leorio didn’t want to think about that happening. It was worth it to see Hisoka’s disappointment at the word boyfriend, however.

“Be there five o’clock sharp,” Hisoka told him, getting up as the rest of the class started to pick up their bags.

“Oh, and wear something….. nice for once, would you?”

Leorio could feel himself getting angry.

“Hisoka, if that isn’t the most hypocritical fucking thing……” 

The redhead had disappeared. Now, it was time to go ask Kurapika. If this step didn’t work out, then Leorio was fucked.

“KURAPIKA!” Leorio burst into their apartment.

“HEY CAN YOU HELP ME?!”

Sitting at his desk, Kurapika jumped at the sudden noise. They weren’t the closest of roommates, but the blond knew the louder Leorio was, the more stressed/emotional he was feeling. Kurapika had always imagined being super close with his roommate, but with Leorio, it just wasn’t like that.

They were both busy with course work, so they never really had any free time. Both were quiet around each other. Leorio didn’t know a whole lot about Kurapika, and Kurapika didn’t know a whole lot about Leorio. It was sad- both of them had always envisioned being super close to their roommate, but it just hadn’t really worked out.

“Yeah man, what’s up?” Kurapika set down his pen. He knew that getting mad at Leorio for being loud when he was like this would make the other man cry, and he didn’t want  _ that _ happening again.

“Please don’t be mad at me but-“ Leorio took in a deep breath.

“IhadtosaythatweweredatingsothatthisguyinmyclasswouldnttakemetochilisandthenheinvitedmetotheZOLDYCKmansionandIacceptedhisinvitationandnowwehavetogobecausehekeepsaknifeinhisbackpackandImscaredofhimanddontwanthimtoaskmeoutagain.”

“Can you say that again.”

The other man was red faced, wheezing under the stress of the situation and the lungs required to spit out that sentence.

“Will you please pretend to date me for this party tonight because this creepy guy in my class asked me out and I HAD to lie because I don’t want him to ask me out anymore. Also, it’s at the Zoldyck mansion.”

“Sure.”

Leorio’s jaw dropped. That was a LOT easier than he expected.

“Wait, really?”

Kurapika shrugged. 

“Yeah, sure. I don’t have anything better to do, and besides, I feel kind of bad for you.”

“Hey!” Leorio exclaimed indignantly.

“Well, actually, thanks. Also, we have to wear suits or something. And it starts at five.”

It was three o’clock now, which gave them plenty of time to get ready. They showered, put on suits and ties, and prepared themselves for the weirdest party ever.

“So, are we like….. going to have to, you know, kiss?” Kurapika brought up sheepishly.

“No! No, definitely not. I just need you to do couples shit with at this party- like dance, or, I don’t know, whatever else. Oh, and also, if you ever see Hisoka, just  _ please _ tell him that we’re dating.”

Looking down at his watch, Leorio saw that it was 4:30.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ll keep it real with you all I’m not 100% sure where this is going (as usual) but it is going!

They made an odd pair, waiting outside of the apartment for their Uber. Leorio was y’all and gangly, while Kurapika was shorter and more graceful looking. Looking down at him, Leorio was struck by how pretty he was. In the setting sun, the blond’s eyes were bright.

_Did he use makeup? He had_ _to use makeup_ , Leorio thought. As a gust of wind picked up, Leorio caught a glimpse of a dangling ruby earring.

_ You know, he’s actually kind of….. nice looking, _ he thought to himself.  _ If I have to kiss him for whatever reason, I don’t think it would be a bad thing. _

Kurapika’s voice broke his thoughts.

“Oh, our Uber’s here.”

Their driver had pulled up in an orange Honda Element.  _ What a cringe car, _ Leorio thought to himself as he crunched up to get his long legs through the frame.

“Hi, I’m Chrollo Lucilfer, and I’ll be your driver tonight.” The man looked back at them with dead eyes.

“Also, I only play 2000’s scene music.” He said monotony. Turning up the radio, The City Is At War by Cobra Starship started blasting out. Leorio and Kurapika exchanged a glance.

“Alright, can you take us to the Zoldyck mansion?” Leorio yelled over the music.

“WHAT?” Chrollo yelled back.

“THE ZOLDYCK MANSION!”

“OH OK, I GOT YOU.”

Pulling out of the parking lot, they hauled ass out of the parking lot and through town.

It was an awkward ride, partially because of Chrollo singing along to the music and partially because of the fact that Kurapika was going to have pretend to date the man next to him.

After a solid twenty minutes of Chrollo headbanging, they arrived at the gates. A butler stepped out of the gatehouse.

“HELLO, INVITATION?” He politely asked over the sound of Shake It by Metro Station being played at around 130 decibels.

“Hey, turn that shit down, man!” Leorio hissed, reaching up into the front to swat at the volume control.

“Yeah, we have one.” Rolling down the back window, he showed the butler their invitation. He nodded them on, opening up the first set of gates. Behind that, five more automated gates opened to let them pass. The mountain was dark with trees, but they could see light radiating from the mansion up ahead.

  
  


Pulling up to the mansion the trip was in awe. Even their driver turned down the music. The place was huge and gothic, but with a sleek look. The mansion looked like it had tons of rooms, and some of them were lit up.

Chrollo pulled up and parked in front of the huge entrance steps which were flanked by topiaries. The pair climbed out of the car and their greasy scene core Uber sped off, music fading into the night.

Leorio let out a low whistle.

“Damn. Fancy ass place.”

Kurapika gave a little chuckle.

“Yeah. Suddenly, I feel underdressed.”

From outside, they could hear the chatter of the other guests. Making their way up the entrance stairs, the doors swung inward before they even had a chance to knock.

“Helllllo, glad to see you could make it.”

Leorio recoiled away the sight at hand. Standing in front of him was Hisoka Morrow, attempting to become the world's first human boa by wrapping himself around the shoulders of another man. The man in question was taller than Hisoka. He had long black hair and freakishly huge eyes. This guy also gave Leorio chills- he looked menacing, despite having not said a single word yet.

Tall guy was dressed in a fancy black suit, while Hisoka was not. The redhead was wearing a shitty H&M crop top with low rise jeans and heels. Between that, his full face of makeup, and the stench of cheap bath and body works perfume that rolled off him, he and the other man were polar opposites.

Taking no notice of the clown next to him, he flashed his eyes down to the invitation Leorio was holding.

“Welcome.”

“Darling, introduce yourself!  _ This _ ,” Hisoka said, pointing to Leorio, “is my friend I was telling you about!”

Leorio gulped. Kurapika ran his hand through his hair nervously.

“H-Hi, I’m Leorio, nice to meet you,” He squeaked, extending his hand. Big eyes stared back at him as fucking  _ clawed  _ hands were pressed into his for the handshake. The other man still kept silent.

“You’re lucky you’re so pretty,” Hisoka laughed, bringing his manicured hand up to the other man’s face. The man did absolutely nothing and seemed completely unaffected by Hisoka.

  
  


“Anyways, this is Illumi Zoldyck. Illumi, on planet earth, it is a commonality that hosts usually shake hands and exchange names with their guests.” Hisoka showed no fear around Illumi, like a kitten prancing around a wolf.

_ This is one of the Zoldycks?! _

“I’m Illumi.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Leorio said meekly. Reaching behind him, he pulled Kurapika up front.

“Anyways, this is my  _ boyfriend _ , Kurapika.” He dragged out the word  _ boyfriend  _ to see the slight scowl it cause Hisoka to have.

“Hi.” The shorter of the two smiled and shook hands with the Zoldyck.

“And Kurapika, this is the  _ lovely _ man who’s in my class, Hisoka.” He winced through his teeth as he said it.

“Hi.” Hisoka seemed annoyed that Kurapika had actually shown.

“Anyways,” Hisoka started, creepy smile returning to his face. “Welcome!”

Turning around, the pair walked into the mansion, Leorio and Kurapika in tow.

“ _ Holy fuck,”  _ Leorio whispered down to Kurapika.

“ _ I didn’t know the Zoldycks were like THAT.” _

_ “Your friend is weird, _ ” Kurapika whispered up as the walked.

“ _ I can see now why you wanted him off your back. _ ”

Following the two in front of them, Leorio and Kurapika made their way through the foyer. Huge antique looking vases stood on pedestals, and heavy embroidered curtains hung on the tall windows. On the walls, paintings hung. The inside of the mansion was surprisingly bright, with crystal chandeliers whose light reflected off the marble floor.

A butler opened the two black doors that they had come to stop in front of. Through the doors was a huge ballroom. It had a painted mosaic ceiling and the room itself was impossibly tall and long. Buffet tables, people, and musicians filled the gigantic room. There were enormous windows on one side that looked up at the mountain. Both sides of the ballroom had doors- some lead outside, while chefs with platters and trays bustled in and out of others.

“Holy crap, this is fancy,” Leorio breathed. 

“I feel  _ really  _ underdressed now.”

“Same.” Kurapika mouthed back at him. 

Illumi walked ahead of them, looking like he was flagging down a butler. This left Hisoka behind. Once Illumi was out of hearing distance, Leorio practically lunged at Hisoka.

“Holy crap, what the fuck is going on! How did you get invited to this place! Who  _ is  _ that guy! Why the fuck did you invite us?”

“Well, technically, I only invited  _ you _ ,” Hisoka sneered, stabbing his nail into Leorio’s chest.

“But to answer your other questions. First: I’ve known the Zoldycks for a long time; they gave me extra invitations. Second: that was Illumi Zoldyck, the oldest Zoldyck son.” As he said that line, he cast a loving glance over to Illumi, who had moved on to the buffet table and was picking up cheese cubes and eating them.

“Third: I did not actually think that you had anyone to bring, and I wanted to embarrass you. Happy?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Leorio mumbled with a scratch of his neck. He felt sorely out of place here. Hisoka was still glaring pointedly at Kurapika, who was glaring right back at him.

“Hmmmph.” Turning away from them, Hisoka walked quickly across the floor towards Illumi in heels that were far too tall to be safe.

“Welp, ummm, should we go in?” Leorio asked tentatively. Kurapika took his hand.

“Sure.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leorio has a PhD (poop hurtling disorder)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me reading a fic: if you make them talk for more than three sentences I will de activate your fucking account for you
> 
> Me writing a fic: and then they talked and talked and talked :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #HISOKA go white boy go

As they walked into the ballroom, Leorio was amazed that one family could afford to have a mansion so huge and immaculate. The pair swerved around dancing couples, Leorio leading Kurapika forward.

“Why did you take me to the buffet table.”

“I’m hungry,” Leorio grumbled, eyeing some fancy looking pastry before shoving it into his mouth.

“Leaf me anf my food alofe.”

As he stuffed some crackers into his already full mouth, the blonde laughed. Leorio rarely heard the other man laugh, but this laugh sounded deep and true. Kurapika’s chuckles rang out loud under the sounds of the band. He was hunching over a little bit, hands on his stomach.

“I’m sorry, this is just such a weird situation, and I-“ He paused to laugh again. Leorio looked at him funnily before starting to laugh himself, crumbs spraying out of his mouth.

“It’s just, I’m at this fancy ass party pretending to be dating my roommate so that some weird stripper clown stops bothering him, and the first person we meet here is said clown and that other really awkward guy, and this whole thing is just funny. Also both of those guys make me incredibly nervous, and I laugh when I’m anxious.”

Kurapika paused to stand up straight and brush crumbs off of his suit.

“I never imagined myself doing this, but hey, here we are.”

Leorio smiled at him around the 15 cheese cubes he was packing into his face.

“You’re right. This  _ is  _ a weird thing to be doing.”

Hisoka and Illumi had moved to the other side of the room, where Hisoka was glaring at Leorio.

“Hey Kurapika.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you see Hisoka.”

Kurapika looked across the room. In the crowd of nice outfits, it wasn’t hard to spot the pink nightmare clinging to Illumi’s side.

“I see him, but I wish I hadn’t.”

They would have to dance soon. Hisoka would never believe him if he just showed up with Kurapika and didn’t do anything. But the thought of having to dance with his friend was…… intimidating. For the life of him, Leorio couldn’t dance. His long legs and natural lack of balance made the dance floor his natural enemy.

However, Kurapika was a different story. On the rare occasion, when Leorio would come home early, he would catch Kurapika dancing if he was lucky. The last time it had happened, Leorio had opened their apartment door only to be greeted by a blast of music. Kurapika was dancing with wild abandon around their kitchen, leaping and twirling in sync with the song. Leorio just stood at the door and watched. It was only when he clapped and whistled as the song ended that Kurapika had noticed him.

As usual, in the art of dancing, the two were opposites. But the thought of all that ballroom dancing entailed made Leorio feel…… weird. He would have to be close to Kurapika and hold on to him, move with the music with him. 

_ So what if he’s pretty and you’ll be in super close proximity to him? So what if you have to hold on to him and dance with him? So what if his eyes look really good in this light?  _

Mustering up all of his courage, Leorio asked the ultimate question.

“Kurapika, would you, um, like to dance with me? Cause Hisoka is looking at us really creepily, and, you know…….” He let his voice trail off, running his finger around his collar nervously.

Unlike him, Kurapika seemed to not notice how worked up Leorio was getting about the whole situation.

“Sure, I see what you mean. You do know how to dance, right?”

“Well, the thing is, I’m not really the dancing type? It’s like, I don’t really do it all that often, so who can say if I’m good or bad, you know?” Leorio waved his hands around, batting away the question.

Kurapika looked at him blankly.

“Well, I’m good enough for the both of us, so let’s go.”

Grabbing his hand, the blonde yanked the taller man out onto the dance floor. Here, they were surrounded by couples moving fluidly around each other to the music. The band was playing something soft, with piano and violin. Maybe it was classical music- Leorio had no idea.

“Dude! What do I do!” He hissed at Kurapika, stepping aside to avoid a dancing pair.

“Ok, ok, we got this. I’ll show you how. Here, we can do something simple; let’s start like this.”

He grabbed Leorio’s left hand while lacing fingers with his right one. Moving their bodies closer together, Kurapika started to move. It’s an awkward with their height difference, Leorio bending down a bit and Kurapika stretching on his tiptoes a bit.

“Ok, so first we go this way.”

Kurapika pulled Leorio towards himself for a single step. The brunette is clumsy, and he reels forward a little bit with their first step. Their eyes are locked, and Leorio is a little distracted by how nice his roommate’s eyes are looking.

_ Does he wear makeup? He has to wear makeup. And perfume. He smells nice. _

“The next step is to move to the right.”

The blonde stepped over in a fluid motion, bringing Leorio with him.

“Alright, then we do a small clockwise circle, like this.”

Kurapika had now placed his hands onto the other man’s sides to guide him in the rotation. Leorio bumped into another couple, mumbling an apology.

“Now we go two steps to the left.”

Stepping left, he was INCREDIBLY close to Leorio, who was sure that Kurapika could see him sweating and gulping.

“Then we repeat it again. For now we can do this, as it’s a simple waltz.”

They moved back again. Leorio was starting to get the hang of it, and he wasn’t jostling around as much as before. He decided to talk to Kurapika to make things less awkward.

“So, where did you learn how to dance so well?”

They stepped to the side again, around the other people.

“My parents used to make me take lessons. For like eight years as a kid.” Kurapika’s face looked down at the ground as he answered. This was the first Leorio had heard about Kurapika taking dance lessons. It was then that he realized he didn’t know anything about Kurapika’s childhood or past at all, for that matter.

“Wow, I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah.” Kurapika’s eyes started to look a bit wistful.

“My parents are rich, so I grew up doing weird stuff like that.”

“Wait, your family is rich?”

They spun around each other, both of them in miniature orbits.

“Oh, I guess we never really talked about our childhoods to each other.” The shorter of the two looked a little confused, scrunching up his eyebrows.

“Come to think of it, I don’t really know much about you. Why…… is that?” 

“I guess we just never got around to it?”

“That’s weird. We’re roommates.”

Leorio laughed, allowing himself to be pulled in close for their dance.

“Maybe we could get around to it now. I mean, I’d like to hear more about these eight years of dance lessons.”

Kurapika thought for a second, his feet moving on their own.

“Well, uh, I guess we established the fact that my family is rich. So yeah, dance lessons, fencing lessons, Latin lessons……. all of that cliché rich stuff was my childhood. I was supposed to take over the family business.”

“And that is?”

“Real estate shit, a lot of investments, running the companies that we own…… basically maintaining all of the ventures that give my family money.”

They finished their dance cycle and went back to the beginning, stepping together to meet each other with fluid ease.

“Why study criminal forensics then?”

Kurapika shrugged.

“I don’t know. To make a difference. To help people. It seemed like something I would enjoy, so I packed my stuff and moved here. And consequently met you.”

“Glad you met me?” Leorio asked playfully, smiling cheekily.

“Yes.”

They were spinning again. Leorio had gotten the hang of the dance floor, and the two were planets in orbit of each other, circling around.

“Hey, you’re not too bad! Want to add in some more steps?”

Leorio agreed with a nod. Kurapika drew him in close again, placing his hands on his waist. Leorio could feel himself blushing and hoped that the other man didn’t notice. 

“Alright, so after the second part, we take one step together.”

They stepped in unison.

“And then, we could do a little twirl thing.”

Swiftly, Kurapika spun Leorio around him. The brunette twirled and landed right back into the other’s arms.

“See? It’s not too bad.”

They started up their dance again, Leorio only fumbling over the new moves a little.

“So, why do you want to become a doctor?”

“Uh, money.” Leorio said off the top of his head. That was the answer he always gave. The blonde was squinting at him as he refused to meet his eyes.

“I feel like you’re lying.”

“Ah, you’re really insightful.” Leorio completed the spin again, Kurapika catching him.

“Yeah. Well, I’m not totally lying. I mean, money  _ is  _ a part of it.”

He sighed and pushed his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose.

“When I was a kid, my best friend, Pietoro, died from an illness. I grew up poor; we didn’t have enough money for surgery. Ever since he died, a part of me felt like it was my fault that I couldn’t save him.”

They stepped in motion again. The shorter man was watching him intensely as they moved.

“I’m going to become a doctor so that nobody will die of the same disease ever again. I’ll make a lot of money at a hospital, and then I’ll do the surgery for free for those who can’t afford it. I owe it to him.” Leorio could feel his eyes tearing up. Despite the fact that everything had happened when he was just a kid, it still hurt to talk about it.

“Wow, I’m sorry, I never knew.” 

Discreetly, Leorio blinked away the water in his eyes.

“I always kind of thought you were in it for the money. But your story…….it was touching”

  
  


Kurapika was looking at him differently now. To be honest, he had always thought Leorio was in medical school for something superficial. Hearing his story changed how he saw Leorio. As he thought, he saw the other man blushing a little bit.

_ He blushes a lot. It’s kind of cute, though. Awwwe crap, he’s becoming endearing and growing on me. _

Suddenly, Leorio’s face dropped as he looked past Kurapika. 

“What is it?”

Leorio’s face was a mask of pain.

“Goddamnit, Hisoka and Illumi are over there.”

Kurapika started to whip his head around before he was stopped by his dance partner.

“No! Don’t look! I don’t want them to notice us.” As they continued their waltz, Leorio kept his head low.

“Awwwe crap, I think they saw us.”

Looking around, Kurapika saw what was going on. Hisoka and Illumi were dancing together, making their way towards them. If Illumi wasn’t so scary and Hisoka wasn’t so weird, it would have been a hilarious sight. The odd couple was haphazardly dancing together, with Illumi bumping into Hisoka and the other people around them, and Hisoka dancing in a completely different way than the other man. Illumi rammed into a woman in a dress, knocking her over, as Hisoka attempted to do some sort of spin.

“What do we do, what do we do?” The brunette fretted, wondering if he could outrun Hisoka. After all, the clown was wearing heels…….. If worse came to worst, he might have a chance. The couple was approaching them rapidly, with no regard for the other people around them.

  
  


“Uhhh, we can try to dance away?” Grabbing Leorio’s hands, Kurapika started to move his feet, stepping in tune around the other dancers.

“Heyyyyyy Leorio!” Hisoka’s creepy voice sounded next to them. The two had moved across the dance floor surprisingly quickly, and were about fifteen feet away from Kurapika and Leorio.

  
  


“How’s your BOYFRIEND doing?” As he got closer, it was evident that Hisoka was a little tipsy. They were now ten feet away, Illumi looking mortified as Hisoka yelled across to them. At this point, Leorio would have tried to run, but the ballroom was packed with people. A lot of them had moved away from Hisoka, and there wasn’t enough room to escape. Shoulders pressed against him as he and Kurapika were jostled around, still attempting to dance.

“What do we do?” Leorio whisper hissed at his partner.

“You know, I just think it’s funny how, how you never had a date EVER, and then you show up with this little blonde dude tonight,” the clown looked disappointed as he glared at them.

“Like, have you guys even kissed? Like, like I feel like this is fake.” He was wobbling on his stiletto heels. Illumi was trying to pull him away, but Hisoka was standing his ground.

“Kiss me!” Kurapika said forcefully.

Leorio felt himself blushing again.

“W-What?”

“I said,  _ kiss me! _ ”

Hisoka was getting closer, and they had nowhere to go. 

“He doesn't think we’re dating! I don’t want him here anymore than you do, so if it looks like we’re dating, he might go away!”

Leorio felt like his brain had stopped working. He stood numbly, stuck between a hard place and Hisoka. Hisoka had almost reached them, and he was looking at Leorio angrily. 

Unexpectedly, he felt two hands reach up and grab the back of his neck, pulling him downwards. Soft lips met his chapped ones, and he stood stock still before he registered what was happening. Kurapika leaned into the kiss a little too passionately, and Leorio thought he might have died and gone to heaven. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hisoka roll his eyes before staggering back to Illumi. As soon as that happened, Leorio pulled away from the blonde suddenly. Kurapika’s eyes were still closed as they separated, flinging open to meet Leorio. There was an awkward moment of silence between them.

“Augh! Fuck! I-Crap! I’ve gotta go!” Leorio’s brain fumbled for the words as he backed away from Kurapika, his face burning. The blonde just stood there, looking a little confused and questioning. As quickly as he could, Leorio shoves his way through the crowd of people, looking around frantically before escaping through one of the doors.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO I will not be uploading this consistently but I WILL finish it. This fic is also alternatively titled me projecting onto Leorio. Also I don't know what kind of dance they’re doing, all of my information was obtained from the wikihow “how to do the waltz with pictures” page.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks 4 sticking with me on this one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter😳

Leorio slammed the ballroom door behind him, throwing himself out into the cold night air. The clamor of the crowd and music from inside was gone, and the sudden silence was ringing in his ears. Wheezing from the stress of the whole situation, he slumped to the ground. The door he had run out of lead to a little marble patio area surrounded by the mountain’s forest. There was no one else out, and the whole area was dark except for the light inside that shone out.

“Oh my god, what the fuck was that?” He asked himself, running his hands through his hair shakily. His whole body felt like it was going to overheat, so he slid down and laid out on the marble floor. From here, he could see the stars and the whole mountain.

Letting out an anxious sigh, he exhaled. 

I probably fucked up my whole friendship with Kurapika.

Just thinking about their kiss made him want to curl up into a ball and disappear. The thing was, in all honesty, Leorio had no problem with kissing Kurapika. In fact, he was rather quite happy to accept this idea. Kurapika was good looking, and over the course of the night, Leorio was starting to have romantic feelings for him. 

As far as love was concerned, Leorio considered himself to be a little stupid. The moment he got to know someone better and get closer to them, his heart went full steam ahead. It was always how he fell in love- his heart would leave his brain in the dust. And now, this familiar process was happening to him again.

So yes, he was 100% for Kurapika kissing him. However, he was mortified that they had had to kiss to get Hisoka to go away. At the start of the night, he had promised Kurapika that they wouldn’t have to kiss. Was that like lying to him? Kurapika had proposed the idea, but the whole situation felt forced at the time. Did he just ruin their friendship and any chance he might have had with him? The sweat he had worked up from being stressed was starting to cool in the chilly night air. Through his pants, he could feel the icy coldness of the patio.

“Uuuuugh, I’m such a fuck up.” He groaned, still running his hands through his hair. By now, he must have looked disheveled. He had no idea what he was going to say to Kurapika. That was if Kurapika hadn’t already left via Uber and gone home. 

As he overthought everything in classic Leorio style, he didn’t notice the trees shaking. Due to the noise coming from the mansion, he also didn’t hear the faint whisperings coming from them. It wasn’t until a whole ass child dropped out of one that he realized he wasn’t alone.

The kid fell out of one of the trees that leaned over the patio. With a solid thump, they hit the ground, startling Leorio.

“You got games on your phone?”

“Holy crap kid, are you ok?” Leorio jumped to his feet. This kid just fell ten feet out of a tree onto marble- he had to have broken a bone. 

He could now see that the child was a boy, dressed in bright green. Picking the leaves and twigs out of his spiky hair, he stood up.

“Mister, you got games on your phone?”

“Are you hurt?”

The kid walked towards him, tossing a leaf behind him.

Well, I guess he’s not hurt.

“Gon!” A voice from up above called.

ANOTHER ONE?

Looking up into the trees, Leorio squinted, trying to locate the other child. As soon as he looked back at the first one, he jumped in surprise. There was ANOTHER kid, standing right next to him. Somehow, he had climbed out of the trees without being seen or heard.

“You got games on your phone?” This child had white hair. He strode over to Leorio confidently. Their height difference was almost comical- Leorio was bending down to look at this small child.

“What? What is happening right now?” Leorio asked to no one in particular.

“Do they just have children in trees here? Huh?”   
Neither of the boys gave an explanation; they just stood and stared at him. 

What the hell is going on? One moment I’m on the verge of tears on the ground, and the next I’m getting questioned by two random kids who just fell out of a tree?

The two of them seemed to be heavily interested in the prospect of games on his phone. He had to admire them for being so goal driven, especially after falling out of a tree.

“Yes! Yeah, here, I have games on my phone.” He unlocked his phone and passed it over to the one dressed in green. Both of them crowded around the device. Their faces became illuminated in the dark as the sound of subway surfer played.

Well, what do I do now?

He sank back to the ground, running his hands through his hair again. Neither boy seemed to notice him- they were too busy.

I should talk to him. Fuck, I need to find him first. He’s somewhere in this place if he didn’t take an Uber home already.

“Mister, are you ok?” The white haired kid had broken away from subway surfer and was now staring at him. Leorio didn’t see the point in lying to him- hell, what’s the worst that could happen?

“No, not really. Thanks for asking though.”

“What happened?” He started to walk over to where Leorio sat. The boy dressed in green noticed too, and followed him over.

Sighing, the brunette ran his hands through his hair for what must have been the millionth time.

“You ever have something bad happen with a friend? And it’s really awkward and you don’t know what to do? And then you’re worried that they already left and went home and it’s going to be awkward to see them again so you need to talk to them in person but you don’t know where they are?”

The kids stared at him as if they were thinking deeply about what he had said.

“Ah, never mind, you wouldn’t understand.” He waved his hand around as though he was brushing away any concerns. “Man, why am I talking to some kids about this? I don’t even know who you guys are.”

“Well first of all, old man, I’m Killua, and this is my best friend, Gon.” Deep thoughts forgotten, the white haired kid was quick to pipe up, pointing at himself and his friend.

“I’m twenty one.”

“So you’re still an old man. Also, we’re not kids, we’re twelve!”

“Twelve,” Gon nodded in solemn agreement.

Killua seemed to bring himself back down.  
“Anyways, I think you should talk to this person.”

“You don’t have to give me advice.”

“Well, when we were climbing through the trees before I fell out, I saw an Uber pull up to the front.”

Leorio jolted upright, snatching his phone away from Gon. 

I can’t just let him leave!

“Crap!” Running away from the two kids, he dashed through the ballroom doors and back into the mansion, shoes sliding on the ground. Making his way through the sidelines of the dance floor, he burst out into the foyer that he had originally entered the mansion from. Flinging the mansion’s doors open, he looked breathlessly upon the driveway, chest heaving.

There were…….. no cars. He could see what looked like fresh dirt tire tracks, but no cars.

“Damn.” 

Sullenly, he walked back into the entryway.

I should call him. 

Feeling brave, he raised up his phone and confidently pressed the call button next to Kurapika’s name with held breath. The dial tone sounded crackly as it rung out. Kurapika wasn’t picking up. Just as Leorio was about to end the call, he heard what sounded like a ringtone coming from one of the rooms connected to the foyer. It sounded familiar- almost like his roommate’s.

Quietly walking towards the sound, Leorio found himself in front of one of the other doors. The faint ring of a cellphone was coming from within. Slowly, he pushed it open, not knowing what to expect.

“Kurapika?”

“Leorio?”

Sitting in a fancy armchair was none other than Kurapika, drink in hand. The room looked like it was some sort of rich person lounge, with expensive looking furniture and carpet. The ringer on the phone stopped, clearing the room of the sound. Swiftly, Leorio sat down in the chair next to him.

It was awkward for a couple seconds, the two of them looking at each other in silence. Finally, the blonde spoke up.

“Hey, so about earlier-“

“Fuck, I’m so sorry about that!” Leorio cut through his words, waving his arms around animatedly in the classic Leorio way.

“I felt bad because earlier I promised that you wouldn’t have to kiss anyone and then we did! So it was like I lied to you! I mean, not that I didn’t want to kiss you, it was actually really nice and all and I would definitely kiss you again, but I felt bad because we were pressured into it to get Hisoka away!” He spat out words rapid-fire before coming to an abrupt halt, not even processing half of what he had said.

“You mean it?”

“What?” Leorio cocked his head to the side.

“I’m completely mean it! I'm sorry about the kiss! I hope that it doesn’t affect our friendship.”

Kurapika took another sip of his drink.

“No, I mean that other part, where you said that it was nice and you’d do it again- did you mean it?”

Leorio could feel his face flushing as he was put on the spot.

“Well, ummm, yeah…….”

“Ok then, let’s do it again.”

Swiftly, just as it had been before out on the dance floor, Kurapika leaned over and kissed him. Leorio felt himself go stiff with shock, eyes still open before he leaned into it. 

“Don’t look so scared. I like you too, you know.”  
They pulled apart.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, why else would I pretend to be your Valentine's date? And dance with you? For someone who got into college, you are BAD at figuring stuff out.”

Leorio laughed sheepishly, now realizing that he should have picked up on the signs earlier.

“Ok, yeah, that makes sense now that I think about i. And jeez, this whole time I was worried, thinking this whole night was a disaster.”

“I don’t think it was a complete disaster.”

Somehow, they inevitably lean in towards each other again. Leorio can see how nice Kurapika’s eyes look in the soft parlor light. And then they kiss. Even though it’s the third such occurrence, Leorio feels like it’s the first real kiss they’ve shared. There’s no clowns or creepy Zoldycks around them, and there’s no hurriedness or premise of fake dating to hamper them. They kiss for a while, Leorio eventually holding on to the other man. He realizes that they’re acting like stupid teens, but he doesn’t care- all he cares about is the flesh under his fingers, the person at his lips. 

When they separate, Kurapika smiles at him.

“Happy Valentine’s day.”

They meet for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I suck at endings!!

**Author's Note:**

> I fucking love this cliche trope there’s so many funni possibilities. Also the title is One Normal Night from the Addams Family musical because a.) It fucking slaps  
> b.) i think it would be great if the Zoldycks were like the Addams I mean they already have a mansion and weird ass kids


End file.
